


Bodyswap

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [27]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bodyswap, Cas is a Perv, Crack, Curses, Drabble, Humor, M/M, Miscommunication, Pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:17:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or the Curious Case of the Cursed Pie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Sam:** Dean!  I’m so glad you’re back!  I’ve had this butt plug in for way too…

**Castiel-in-Dean’s-Body:** I do not understand. Why are you so close to me? Dean told me very specifically that you humans did not allow each other into their personal space. I am uncomfortable being touched in that way by the spawn of…

**Sam:** Dean? Are you having another psychotic break? I told you to lay off that pie. I think it was cursed.

**Dean-in-Cas’-Body:** *entering the motel room* Another!?! I nev…. *smirk* Dean never had a psychotic break. It was just a sugar high. Jeez, take your Midol, Samantha.

**Cas-in-Dean:** *oblivious* …though it did feel surprisingly good….

**Sam:** Uh. Hi Castiel. You should probably stop learning slang from Dean. It’s a bit disturbing.

**Cas-in-Dean:** …I wonder if I…

**Dean-in-Cas:** I will endeavor to undertake my instruction in conversational language with whomever I find most adequate for the…what’s a big word for ‘job’?  Ooo. Endeavor. Anyway, I think Dean is awesome. I’ll talk like him all I want.

**Sam:** Cas? Are you having a psychotic break?  Did you eat the pie too?

**Dean-in-Cas:** Of course I did. Pie is awesome.

*Cas-in-Dean gropes Sam*

**Sam:** Wow!! Dean, stop it. Cas is right here.

**Cas-in-Dean:** *with his hand still on Sam’s ass* He knows that.

**Sam:** You told Cas…okay. You know, it’s great to have you back to normal, but I’m really not okay with doing this in front of him. Just, wait til later?

**Cas-in-Dean:**  I thought you were comfortable with your brother?

**Sam:** Talking in third person is really not very sexy. And also…GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF MY PANTS. What was in that pie? I better go start researching….

**Dean-in-Cas:** You should probably take the butt plug out first. It’s gonna take awhile.

**Sam:** God damn it, Dean. Must you over-share? *goes towards bathroom* I’ll be right back.

**Cas-in-Dean:** What is the purpose of a butt plug?

**Sam:** Dean! Get out of the bathroom!  I cannot deal with you like this right now.

**Cas-in-Dean:** Alright *leaves*

**Sam:** That was way too easy…


	2. Chapter 2

**Dean-in-Cas:**  Hey Cas. Can I ask you something while Sam is in there?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Of course.

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  How do you recognize people?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  By looking at their souls, of course. Don’t you?

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  That explains so much about what just happened. Um. Cas, we don’t, well…Nevermind. Dude this is too awesome to pass up.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  What?

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  Cas, Sam is under the effects of a curse.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  He is?

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  Yes. And that curse makes him have insatiable lust for you.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Ah! That explains why he touched me in inappropriate places when I came in. But why did he stop?

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  He probably believes that it would be a sin to debase an angel.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Yes. That is a common misconception. Actually, with all the watching we do, most angels are quite kinky.

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  That’s, um, awesome. But Sam thinks you aren’t, so you have to convince him.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  No problem. I am sure I can convince him of my kinkiness.

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  That’s not what I…you know what?  That’s exactly what you should do.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Alright.

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  Oh! And another thing.  This is a really bad curse, so he has to call you ‘Dean’ while he is around you, ya know, so you get creeped out and don’t have sex with him.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  I see. If I thought he had mistaken me for you, especially because our bodies have been switched, I would not let him sate his lust.

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  Um. Yeah. That. So, he’s gonna call you ‘Dean,’ but just go with it, okay?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  I can do that.

 **Sam:**  Hey guys. The butt plug is out, so let’s get researching!

 **Dean-in-Cas:**  Alright. I am just going to leave now. You know. Important angel things to do.

*Dean leaves. Cas sits on Sam’s lap.*

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  So, Samuel, perhaps you would like to remove your pants?


	3. Chapter 3

*quite some time later*

 **Sam:**  No Dean, we still can’t have sex. I still have to figure out what was in that pie.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Please? You can tie me up!  You can spank me! You know, because I’m being so bad and distracting you. You can do anything you want. I promise it will not be beneath me, even though I am an angel.

 **Sam:**  I wouldn’t call you an…wait, you would bottom?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  I bottom almost exclusively. I know I seem immensely powerful, but everyone likes to be taken care of sometimes.

 **Sam:**  Oh, this must be a really, really bad curse. But I almost don’t care…

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  You shouldn’t care. I know I have traded bodies with your brother, but that will wear off fairly soon, I am told. Are you reluctant because you don’t want to damage his body?

 **Sam:**  What did you just say?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  I would think you were reluctant to have sex with a family member, as many people are, but I know you have sex with Dean at least three times a day, so it must be that you worry about the health of his body. I assure you, this body is perfectly capable of bottoming.

 **Sam:**  That’s good to know. But, um, I meant before that. The ‘traded bodies with’.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Oh. Yes. Dean convinced me to try the pie, and it forced us to change bodies. I am quite fine with this body. Jimmy was nice, of course, but Dean’s sex drive is amazing!

 **Sam:**  Cas?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Yes?

…

 **Sam:**  I hate Dean so much right now. Does he think I enjoy researching?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Yes, he does.

 **Sam:**  Gah!  Well, I could have been done ages ago.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  You know what curse you are under?

 **Sam:**  I’m not under a curse. You and Dean are.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Dean assured me you were. He said that you needed to have sex with me and that…

 **Sam:**  Of course he did, Cas. He lied. He just wanted me to think you were him.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Oh. So we can’t have sex?

 **Sam:**  No. I think Dean would actually be pretty upset.

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Oh.

…

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  You could tie me up? Spank me?

 **Sam:**  I’ll ask Dean.

…

 **Sam:**  So what were you saying about knowing how often we have sex?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  Oh. I usually watch. It’s quite…informative. I especially liked what you did last night with the whipped cream and nunchucks. I never would have thought of that.

 **Sam:**  …thank you?

…

 **Sam:**  Is there any of that cursed pie left?

 **Cas-in-Dean:**  It’s still in the fridge.

 **Sam:**  Good. I have a plan.

_The End, For Now..._

**Author's Note:**

> If you are interested in more frequent updates, I will be updating this series on tumblr daily at this point, and probably only weekly here. So! Follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope. It may take some time for me to get to it, but I promise I will. I mean, I have an SPN Founders Fic coming up. So anything you send, I will at least try to fill. :)


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